Breaking the Bad Day Cycle

Yesterday morning I was outside doing yardwork, weed-whacking through some overgrowth when suddenly something flew up out of the grass and hit me in the mouth before falling back to the ground.

I looked down to see what had hit me.

It was cigarette butt.

A used cigarette butt had hit me in the mouth.

It was not even 8 am.

It was an inauspicious start to my day.  One of those things that makes you think maybe it’s going to be a bad day and you should just go back to bed.

Later in the day, after weeks of procrastinating, I finally made it to one of those Quick Lube-type places to have my oil changed.  I had been to the same place last time and they are fast.  Fifteen minutes in and out.

I pulled my car in and they got right to work.  A second later, another car pulled into the lane next to me and they started right in on that car.  Fifteen minutes later, they had finished the oil change on the car next to me and it had pulled away.  Another car pulled in.  Fifteen minutes later they had finished the oil change on that car and it, too, pulled away.  A third car pulled in.

I started listening to the guys working on my car and I realized they were having issues.  They couldn’t get the oil filter off.  Keeping in mind they were the ones who had put it on last time.  First one guy went down to help the other guy and then another and then another, until they had four guys working to get my oil filter off.

Meanwhile I was texting my dad.

“Go to another place,” he suggested.

“Kinda stuck here,” I answered back.

I could feel myself getting tense.  I wasn’t necessarily at the irritation or anger stage yet, but I was definitely getting tense.  These guys were having a bad day and their bad day was rapidly becoming my bad day.

And that was when I thought, maybe I might try praying.  But here’s the thing, I didn’t pray that the guys would get the oil filter off—instead, I asked God to bless the workers.  They were doing their best.  Bad days happen to everyone, but instead of cursing them out under my breath or huffing and puffing and heavy sighing to let them know I was annoyed, I sat there silently and blessed them.

Almost instantly, I felt the tension leave my body and a moment later, one of the workers approached me to tell me they had gotten the oil filter off and I should be on my way shortly.

In today’s reading from John 15:1-11, Jesus explains the vine and the branches.  And let me see if I can summarize it for you because it’s a little twisty and the word “abide” is used repeatedly, over and over—ten times actually.  But the gist is this.  Abide in Jesus.  Live in His love.  Bear good fruit.

There are things going on in this world right now—big, horrible things—that we can get lost in if we abide in those things.  If we live in cynicism and hopelessness.  If we wake up each morning in darkness and never turn on the light, never open the blinds, then our branch will wither.

Every day will be a bad day.

And our bad days will be contagious, infecting all those around us.

Instead, we must grab hold of Jesus, wrap ourselves in the true vine, and abide in His light.

Bless others, especially the ones we think might not deserve it.

Nowhere does Jesus say bless only those who deserve it.  Love your enemies.  In Luke 6:32-36, Jesus says, “‘If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.  If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same.  If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again.  But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.  Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

I’m not saying doing this is easy.  It is most definitely not, but it is, ultimately, the most rewarding.

I don’t feel I am naïve in saying that we can change our world with one small act of kindness a day, even if that kindness is to ourselves, when we give up our anger and self-righteousness, and we forgive and we bless and we love, especially to those who may not deserve it.

A few weeks ago, I woke up to the sound of gunfire just down the alley where I live.  A car peeled away, tires screeching.  I thought it was over and then there was another round of gunfire, so loud with so many shots fired, that I pressed myself down in my bed, hoping to get below the window in case a bullet hit the house.

The city of Cincinnati knows what all of us know, shootings tend to increase as the weather gets warmer.  And credit to Cincinnati, they’re trying to figure out some solutions to that.

But for me, what can I do?  The little girl who always knocks on my door to ask for books, came by a few days after the shooting with a few boys.  They wanted to know if I wanted to buy a rock from them.  And let me say, it was a nice rock, like a geode or crystal or something.  They were a bit cagey when I asked them where they had found it, but let them have their secrets.  I bought the rock.

Of course, they keep coming by now to try and get me to buy other things, anything—I swear they find trash in the alley and try and sell me that.  I have explained that I am all out of cash.  I am waiting for when they tell me that’s fine, they take Venmo.

Last night, when the little girl stopped by to try and sell me a handmade bracelet, I apologized for not having money but asked her if she needed a book to read.  I showed her a few books and she picked out the one I had actually bought, with her in mind, last December—but the cold weather had kept her away until just recently.

About an hour later, a whole group of kids appeared at my door—not for books—but to hand me the box the Amazon driver had just left for me. 

I will always believe that goodness and light triumph in the end.

Anne Lamott always says, “Grace bats last.”

And in this world, it is grace and mercy and kindness that will always have the final word.

May all of us today, break the cycles of bad days by blessing others in kindness and love.

Amen.